Why I stopped bringing my cane to disability advocacy meetings

I have a chronic pain condition that flips between good and bad days. For about 6 months I brought my folding cane to every meeting, even on my good days. Thought it made me look more credible as an advocate. But I kept getting talked over or people would ask my partner if I needed help instead of asking me. I learned that in those rooms, visible aids sometimes make people treat you like you're fragile instead of capable. Now I only use it when I actually need it. Has anyone else noticed that showing less of your disability can get you taken more seriously?

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theathomas4mo ago

Wait, you actually stopped bringing your cane because people treated you WORSE with it? That's wild. I cannot believe they'd ask your partner if you needed help instead of just talking to you directly. Like, you're right there in the room, clearly capable of speaking for yourself. Unreal that showing a visible aid somehow makes you less credible in their eyes. That's actually messed up how those supposed "advocates" can't see past the cane.

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milap354mo ago

idk, is it really that deep though? maybe those people were just being jerks regardless of the cane. like, they probably would have found some other reason to talk over you if you didn't have it. i've got a buddy who uses a wheelchair and he says the same stuff happens to him even when he's just sitting there minding his own business. people are gonna make assumptions no matter what you do, it's not like the cane is causing the problem. maybe it's just me but i think you're giving the cane too much credit for how people treat you. sometimes folks just suck and it's not about the visible aid at all.

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